Oprah, Dr. Phil divorce and marriage - 2

In the previous post about Oprah, Dr. Phil divorce and marriage, I wrote what I think are the essentials foundation for a healthy successful marriage.

In this post I would like to tackle the money problem, as it seems to be one of the most prevalent reason for an unhappy marriage.Many of Dr.Phil’s subjects seem to bring this problem up. You hear them say, she spends too much, or, he is stingy and so on…not very good, is it?

Many of us come out of our parents’ homes where everything is prepared and paid for, even when we share in the household costs.We have little or no budget responsibilities or need to balance the family income and expenses. We have an easy ride. Others have already taken the “freedom step’, and may then have a better insight of what is in front of them. However, the future is not assured and there are surprises galore on the way. So how does a couple manage their money, their income and expenses?

When we decided to get married, my mother said,

’ I have an x amount of money, do you want to spend it on a wedding, or do you want the money?’

We opted for the money.Even though we took the money, we still had a small wedding in my parent’s apartment where relatives and parents’ friends were invited, followed by a ‘honey - week’ in place of a ‘honey - moon’.

Why did we opt for the money?

We knew that we needed it to put up a home.We also knew that we are not going to start marriage life lumbered with a debt, a proper reception would entail.We could not find a good reason to enslave ourselves for years just to be celebrities for one day. We felt, and still do, that debt in a young marriage is like a third person in the wedding bed, who will not leave; till kicked out with a penalty.

Money and its management is often what breaks a marriage, and an uncalled for debt puts unnecessary strain on any relationship; be it a young budding marriage, or a long standing one.With this strain often come back and fore accusations over who was the culprit responsible for creating this burden.

I know that it is fashionable nowadays to purchase everything a couple ‘deeds’ for life and pay for it with a credit card.Credit cards are expensive.

Firstly - one does not feel the money leave the wallet, and therefore it feels like a bottomless water well, that gives endless water, and one loses control and accountability.

Secondly - cards, in the main, carry high rates of interest when one does not repay the debt within an allotted time. As debt grows the accumulated interest incurred grows. This makes the purchased item more expensive, thus a higher debt.

Thirdly - when reckoning day comes, and it is sure to come, the awakening is rough, and one may lose everything one has.

We must remember that credit card companies are not philanthropies; they are here to make money.

The question is, can one do without buying on credit, without going into debt? What does a young couple really need to begin with? One thing is for sure; it does not need debt.We slept on mattresses on the floor for 2 years and it did not worry us. Not only that, but we had fun putting cent to cent together for purchases we wanted, and felt achievement once we could afford them.

Our daughter in law even had a ‘Glory Box’ where she collected things for the home in her bachelor days. Things like sheets, kitchen appliances, eating utensils and so on, which eased their starting days burden.

The only debt we did take on was for the purchase of a home and a second hand fridge.

So how does one deal with this problem?

What we did was that we transferred whatever money each of us had into a one joint account, and into which our incomes would go. Then, we made a budget book. This we divided into 2 main sections, one for income the other for expenses. Next we made a list of expected regular outgoing like council rate, water, electricity etc. added up the amounts and divided the result by 52, because Australian wages are paid weekly.This told us what amounts to put aside, plus about half as much again, in case we miscalculated. Then we decided on the percentage of income we can afford saving for rainy day.This we banked into a separate saving account, not to be touched. This was for us very important, and proved to be so in later days.

The rest was for our daily life.For that, we listed the items we need like food, clothing and so on in our expenses section, and were ready.

If and when one of us wanted or needed to spend on or buy something that was not essential, we always sought the other’s approval.This was, and still is, usually granted without hesitation.It was not a requirement, neither was it prearranged. It was, and still is, just curtesy that came automatically; due to the respect we have to one another.We could do that, because we knew that we both care and want success and advancement in our marriage; and neither of us would abuse this privilege.

Some may say, well, you had a lot of money to be able to do that, and I want to put your mind at rest.No we did not.We just tightened the belt, because we knew where we want to go.We often had just one meagre income and at times none at all, when we had to rely on what we have put away.But we had determination to do better.We wanted to succeed.

In my next posting on this subject, I will look into some of the other matters that make a marriage like, work and house hold etc.

Before I go,

My next posting, on whatever subject, will be delayed by about a week to ten days or so.In few days time my husband and I are heading back home and we are now packing.

Comments are welcomed


Artist, poet and the author of

‘From the Promised Land to The Lucky Country’ – Renate’s book


Masada – ‘Metzada’ in Hebrew – freedom or death

We are driving along the only road that leads through the Judean Desert south towards Masada. All is bare but for a patch of green here, and another one there, denoting a kibbutz; where a lot of effort is put in to make this desert bloom; a vast rocky emptiness that is hard to comprehend.

How can I make you feel this vastness? This emptiness? Its deadness if I can call it that way, even though there is life everywhere.I thought of showing you all that we have filmed, but then it will go forever, and still, it will not be it, will it?The Hebrew calls it‘נורא הוד ‘ (Nora hod) but I cannot find the English equivalent. If any of you can, please let me know.

It is hard to comprehend that people in biblical times lived in this environment by choice, in small settlement like in Qumran, or in caves one can see along the way, till you realize that living here was better than living under the noses of the so cruel Romans.


The Judean wilderness, a kibbutz in the distance

Deep in the Judean desert, 450 meter above and overlooking the now receding Dead Sea, stands the mighty fortress rock of Masada. Majestic in its beauty, and fascinating in its history, it is a place of pilgrimage to all Israelis and many others around the world.

the rock of Masada

Arial map in blue

Here, after 3 years of siege, about 960 people chose death in freedom over life in slavery – Roman slavery, and I quote out of Josephus:

“Since we long ago resolved never to be servants to the Romans, nor to any other than to God Himself, Who alone is the true and just Lord of mankind, the time is now come that obliges us to make that resolution true in practice... Let our wives die before they have been abused, and our children before they have tasted slavery, and after we have slain them, let us bestow that glorious benefit upon one another mutually, and preserve ourselves in freedom.We were the very first that revolted, and we are the last to fight against them; and I cannot but esteem it as a favour that God has granted us, that it is still in our power to die bravely, and in a state of freedom.”

From Elazar benYair final speech (the Zealots Commander)

At the end of the 3-year siege, when at long last the fortress walls were breached, the Roman got the surprise of their lives - they were greeted with silence.

There was nothing for the ‘Triumph Parade’.No slaves for sale.

Apart of two women and five children that hid themselves, there were only dead bodies…

With the fall of Masada, the last resistance to Roman rule came to an end. Jerusalem was in ruin already and the temple no longer stood. After one more revolt in 132-135, Rome had enough. To ensure the Jews will no longer rise against her, the population was dispersed throughout the Roman world and Judea’s name was change to ‘Palestina’ – a name they coined from the name of the Philistines – the Anatolian ‘sea people’ who lived along the southern Mediterranean shore of the country and were long gone by that time.

Nowadays, Israeli soldiers take here the oath: "Masada shall not fall again."

Masada was first fortified was by ‘Jonathan the High Priest’ who lived in103-76 BCE.

Between the years 37 and 31 BCE ‘Herod the Great’, the crazy king, who killed anyone at a whim including his wife and children, and one of the world’s greatest architect, built into this rock his fortified 3 level summer palace, overlooking the Dead Sea. A palace in the best of Roman style; fit not only for a king but for an emperor as well. Here as in any other place he built, Herod spared nothing: Palaces and villas, throne room and synagogue; water cisterns, bathes, frescoes and storerooms and more.

Harod’s palace overlooking the Dead Sea

After the fall of Jerusalem and the destruction of the magnificent Temple, crazy Herod built; a group of zealots took Masada over.

Around 73 CE, Rome collected her best legions from all over its empire, and from as far as Britain, to lay the 3-year siege of Masada. They brought with them thousands of Jewish prisoners-of-war slave labour, to build rampart of thousands of tons of stones and beaten earth against the western approaches of the fortress; and battering rams to breached its walls.

Part of the way up the rock of Masada

View from above onto the Roman camp area

As you stand at the top of Masada looking down, you can still see the Roman army’s camp area and that of the slave’s as well.

The Roman rampant

There is so much about Masada to study and so many lessons to learn.Books were written and still are, and theories developed. Archaeologist have turned over and looked into every nock and cranny of this place, and Josephus, the Jewish General who fought the Romans in the Galilee and later Romanised to become the emperor’s friend and historian, left in his book ‘The wars of the Jews’ the only account we have today from that time in the history of the holy land.



If you want to know more go to

Masada photos


Masada history



My website


One of the contributing factors I feel and act as I do at my age is the chiropractic care I got, and am resorting to, whenever a health problem arises. I have had already a back problem when I was in my twenties, and it was so bad that I had a supporting corset given to me. Once under chiropractic care, I was able to dispose of that support, as well as rid myself of the migraine headaches that bugged me no end. The ensuing years brought us into working in this field, and till our retirement, I assisted my husband in our clinic.
During these many years, we met with, and successfully solved, many different health problems; that it hurts me to see people suffer needlessly.

Chiropractic approach to healing and treatment are very different from that of the medical profession, As a matter of fact, it is the opposite. While medicine believes in medication and surgery, which means – out side chemical interference and slicing, chiropractic believes that the body can do its own healing, providing its nervous system is free from interference; thus it can help in about say 90% of human ailments.

Why is that and what does that mean? It means that all our functions are controlled by our nervous system. It is our communication system. It conveys instruction from our Brain to our various organs and back, and makes it all work in harmony. The switchboard of this system, the spinal cord, is housed within our spin. Through spaces between the vertebrae it sends nerves to all parts of our body. When a misalignment occurs anywhere in that spine, from whatever reason, the function of the nerves passing through that area may be hampered. Thus, may produce conditions that will manifest as illness. It is the job of the chiropractor to find where the problem sits, and correct it. The rest is up to the body.

Lets look at our bodies through the functions of our society: We have our government and the various departments, and as long as they can communicate, everything works properly. When a problem arises, it can be fixed in no time. We can send for fire department, or call up the army and so on, to attend to whatever needs attention, for example. But, if the message does not go through from the area in need, no help can come, can it?

Our bodies are a very advanced piece of equipment, if I can call it that way. It has its own army in the form of white blood cells and it raises its temperature to kill invading bacteria and so on; and it is a pity that we do not give it enough credence.

This is, of course, just a very superficial explanation and there is so much more to say about the body and chiropractic, but all I wanted to do here is to make those of you who are interested, aware of what chiropractic really is and that there may be help for those who suffer needlessly.

Artist, poet & the Author of
From the Promised Land to the Lucky Country


Promenade – Natanya

In 2004 Netanya’s promenade it won Israel’s prize for the most beautiful the country has, and justly so. I have seen none better anywhere I traveled, be it in Israel or anywhere else I have been.

The promenade that runs for about 4 –5 kilometers or more on a cliff along the Mediterranean Sea, half way between Tel Aviv and Haifa, is not yet finished, and you constantly see new things added to it. It will eventually join a large park that work on it has only recently started.

In my ‘Crows” post I displayed a couple of photos from the newer part of this promenade, and my Sand Lilies come from there as well. Now I’d like to take you to some of the older parts.

My husband and I got up one morning with camera in hand and started photographing.Back in our room I looked at what I got and the choice was overwhelming. We had so many and varied photos, making the choosing very difficult.

I sorted the photos into groups and picked out some of each, in the hope of giving you a taste and an idea on how beautiful this promenade really is.

So lets go

Artist, poet & the Author of From the Promised Land to the Lucky Country



A special post of thanks

Beyond the ugliness portrayed in the news, the nastiness displayed in many of the TV programs, and commercial tastelessness, there is a world most of us miss; a world of ordinary people meeting people and helping people, just from the goodness of their heart.

Lulia from http://openisrael4u.com Israel

You have devoted your time for me, in spit of having to work and look after your beautiful family, which I had the honour to meet.Through you and your help I met others who became my friends as well. I thank you.

Beaman80 from http://beamansworld.blogspot.com England

Hi, we found so much in common.We love so many of the same things.Many thanks for your help and friendship.

Thierry from http://www.artviet.net/blog Canada

When you walked into my desktop I didn’t know who you were.I looked and looked till the penny dropped – you came from Syndic8 to help me.How lucky can one be.I found you a warm and loving human being.Thank you for your help guidance and perseverance.

Joan from http://www.joansmall.com/index.htm

My dear friend,

You have been with me from the start. You guided me and you are always there when I need you. Your love and friendship is very dear to me. Thank you

Last and not least - my funs, thanks for taking an interest in what I have to say.It encourages me to write more and to become better at it as time goes. Thank you


Bicurim feast in the kibbutz highschool
Hi Walter and Annette, Thanks for the feedback. Pleased you enjoyed reading it. What happened to the boat, comes in a period after the book ends and maybe a part of the next book...