A day in the kitchen

You would not believe it, but it’s 8am and I have decided to cook.

My husband, who stands not far from me, has already a knowing smile on his face.

I say, ‘what’s so funny?’

He says, ‘ Did I say anything?’

I say, ‘no, but your face says it all. So what’s so wrong with me wanting to cook?’

He says nothing. He just looks at me and grins.

You see, I cannot cook, nor do I like cooking. My mother was no example. She hated cooking and it showed.

When I went to the army at the age of 17, I thought the food was terrific! It’s only few years ago, and I am now 76 years old, that I learnt one must loath army food…

Well, I need stay just 5 minutes in the kitchen not eating, and he comments, ‘What are you doing? Spoiling the food?’

So here I am:I bought a couple of eggplants and some mincemeat and decided to make something like the Greeks do – something like moussaka.

I took some millet and some buckwheat. Cooked them in water together with some linseed and some condiments I found in the cupboard, which I though will be nice.

I cut some onion and garlic, fresh basil and parsley, all organic mind you, and cut the eggplant in thin slices.

I layered it all nicely with the mince I mixed with some organic tomato paste and then –

I have a convection/micro oven combination, even though we do not use the micro at all; and the oven very seldom. Why? Because the oven speaks only French, and we do not.

Luckily, it has some icons on it with marking that show what they are for, and we know what poule viande and poisson mean.

I set the temperature to 180c degrees and wait for the oven to heat up. It does.

It beeps and I know I got that one right.

I also know that when it beeps, I need to open the door and put the food in. I do that. Then…? Um…. What do I do next?

I try one setting after the other, and another, and I think I got it right. I wait an hour - but nothing happens.

I raise the setting to 200c, and try some settings I didn’t try before, and it works. Hallelujah.

I wait another hour. The oven beeps again. The food is hot, the mince is cooked; the eggplant is not.

My husband says, ‘ how about giving up on the oven and transfer the food into a saucepan?’

He says, ‘ Make sure it stays the shape it is in.’

I tip the content over into the pen and it keeps its shape, but I am not happy with it, so I pock it and flatten it to fit the whole area. Now it looks good.

I say, ‘I’ll cook it on a low flame. I think it will cook the eggplant better that way.’

He says, ‘Good idea.’

It cooks for another hour and the time is 8pm.

Now it’s ready, but it’s too late and it's too hot to eat. We have about 36c and humidity of 70% and we think,

Watermelon will be nice...

Renate Artist, poet & the Author of

From the Promised Land to the Lucky Country

http://www.promisedland-renate.com/